By Hadiza Yusuf Ahmad
Bullying is a serious issue that plagues Nigerian high schools, causing immense mental health problems for students. While it’s an unpleasant topic, addressing it is crucial. Parents also play a vital role in educating their children about bullying and equipping them to handle it.
Simply put, bullying is the act of intimidating, coercing, or harming someone perceived as weaker. It can be physical or social, to make the victim feel inferior and the bully feel superior.
My experience as a student in a Kano federal boarding school highlighted how “seniority/bullying” was a dominant force. Popularity and respect were tied to how well you bullied others as a senior.
We lived with seniors who seemed to enjoy inflicting daily punishments. Picture Kano’s scorching heat; every Friday, we were forced to lie face down under the sun, enduring the pain as the heat radiated from the ground. We comforted each other while watching our seniors laugh at our misery. Not everyone could endure this, and even those who did harbored resentment to prove their strength. This was called “odeshi,” a form of “judgment day” punishment. Reporting to authorities often backfired, creating more problems for the victim.
The worst punishment was a two-week suspension with hard labor, or expulsion from the boarding house. I recall a senior (may she rest in peace) who brutally beat a classmate, leading to her expulsion. The senior only received a two-week suspension, doing little to deter others.
Another incident involved a senior asking me to wash ten white bed sheets. While working, another senior demanded water. Trying to finish the laundry first, I angered her. She slapped me twice and threw all the clean sheets on the ground. I still got her water and re-washed everything.
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Saturday Inspection Results:
Following a poor showing in our weekly inspection, the punishment involved lying and rolling on the ground or the toilet floor, followed by a series of harsh penalties. Since our hostel consistently placed last, these punishments became a weekly routine.
Thursday’s Sports Activity:
One Thursday, a classmate wore colored lip gloss, a contraband item. A senior, who also wore lip gloss, confronted her, slapped her, and used a stone to remove it, leaving her lips bruised for a week. The bullying stifled our spirit.
The Prefect’s Rule:
A cruel prefect had a habit of forcing everyone out of the hostel after a three-count. Failure to comply meant crawling from the back door to the front, leaving our knees bruised. The rush to leave and finish dressing outside led to her eventual removal from her position.
During the cold season, punishments worsened. Believing bodies were more sensitive, they’d flog us early in the morning, targeting our feet. We’d stand up afterward, cheering and comforting each other on the way to class.
Once, I was brutally beaten by a group of seniors in the SS3 block. Covered in bruises, I went to bed in pain, even praying for death. I felt weak and stayed sick for a week.
The mosque and classrooms were our only havens. One prefect, upon entering the mosque to pray, would clear the room regardless of how crowded it was. Finishing her prayers, she’d seek victims to punish, ruining their entire day.
Staying in the hostel became a nightmare. We were forced to roam around class areas, losing our voices and the will to learn. We had each other for support, but fighting back meant being outnumbered. Only the seniors’ favorites were spared. “Allah ya isa” (Oh God, Jesus) was our only solace.
This subtle, manipulative form of bullying goes unnoticed by parents and teachers. It isolates children, hindering their social interaction and leading to depression, sadness, and low self-esteem.
As juniors, we lived in misery, fear, anger, and a desire for revenge. Many of us developed an inferiority complex.
This “seniority/bullying” cycle continues in boarding schools. Some become hardened, fighting to survive. It’s a vicious circle of vengeance. When complaints are made, the response is often, “They haven’t seen anything yet.” The bullying left many of us traumatized, needing therapy to overcome flashbacks. Discussing it with friends from different boarding schools revealed similar stories.
It was a horrific and mentally draining experience, negatively impacting students’ behavior. Healing takes time, and some students carry the effects throughout their lives. Here are some signs a student might be experiencing bullying:
Isolating from others
Suicidal thoughts
Poor appetite
Depression
Low self-esteem
Anxiety
Difficulty sleeping
Poor performance in education:
The point is the majority of us went through hell in the boarding house. Most of the people shouting and wailing about Maryam the Bully are the bullies themselves, while some are the victims. I guess we learn as we grow. A lot I know regret their actions. Could they have been naive? Or did they just decide to be wicked? Only God knows. Who are we to blame? The school authorities, the parents, or the students? The painful part of it was how the bullies trembled with fear whenever their parents were informed about their bullying habit; some parents could even swear with their lives that their children would never do that. The bullies are sometimes two different people at home and in school. It’s not always from the parent. The school changes the behavior of the student most times. Revenge is mostly the key energizer of bullying.
Boarding school has impacted us both negatively and positively; importantly, we learned about endurance, patience, and courage.
As life would have it, we met our seniors in our university days; some were still above us, we were in the same level with some of them, and we graduated and left some of them in school.
As a student, have you ever been humiliated by your fellow students or given less attention because they feel you are not up to standard? Have you ever felt like your fellow students don’t like and appreciate you for who you are, and it’s affecting your studies? If you have experienced this, then know that you are never alone.